Let's get one thing straight: the humble barbecue is one of the greatest inventions ever conceived by the hand of man. After all, sliced bread is simply the combination of a loaf of bread and a knife, the printing press is rapidly going out of fashion with the rise of the internet, and can the Great Pyramid of Gaza cook a 12oz marbled ribeye steak to perfection? I think not. This leaves us with only one possible conclusion: barbecues are divine culinary machines, sent to us as manna from the Lord Himself.
And yet once the weather turns sour, this fantastic contraption is relegated to the garage or kept under covers to take a time-out for the winter months. I could give a million reasons why this is blasphemy against the BBQ gods, but 5 will have to suffice...
Reason 1. Homemade BBQ sauce
It's a well-known stereotype that women love to cook. In reality, most of them don't - men are simply too lazy to go through the arduous processes involved in the kitchen, and ladies are generally sympathetic to this. But in the realm of the barbecue, the man is king - and there should be no king who is not able to concoct his own special barbecue sauce recipe. And why should you limit improving your sauce creating skills to just the hot months of the year?
One of my most recent favourites is Chef Todd Mohr's mustard BBQ sauce recipe - or should I say, primer. Mohr is awesome in that he hates recipes - he gives you the basics and you can embellish and create your own. If you're not into making your own sauces, it's not like you won't have a frankly ridiculously huge selection available at your local supermarket...
Reason 2. It's not just an outdoor thing
Just because you can only realistically barbecue outdoors, why does the rest of the party have to be limited to the same location? The Barbecue Umbrella was invented to help you help yourself. Put your barbecue under a sheltered part of your garden or balcony. People can always congregate indoors while the meat master does his thing.
Hell, I went to one barbecue where the rain started coming down and they moved the whole barbecue tray indoors. They stuck it on the stove, beneath the extractor fan, and opened a few windows for good measure. Now that's real never-say-die barbecuing. It got a little smoky inside, but hey - nobody died, and the food turned out great.
Reason 3. No pots and pans ot wash up!
Stove/oven cooking is all well and good, but for the sheer amount of food to washing up ratio, barbeques win. One dirty grill and you're done. Since the barbecue is best used to feed a whole lot of hungry mouths, you can avoid the torturous cleaning step that is usually associated with cooking for lots of people. Also an additional hallelujah: the majority of barbecued food is conveniently designed to be eaten out of the hands, and you can always use paper plates and/or a disposable barbecue if you really hate to wash up.
Reason 4. Meat. That is all. Well, and vegetables.
When it comes to meaty treats, what can't you barbecue to a state of deliciousness? Steaks, ribs, burgers, sausages, bacon, fish, prawns, shrimp, kebabs and skewers with all and any kinds of animal - throw it onto the barbecue and you're going to make a lot of people very happy.
And OK, so vegetarians are at a distinct disadvantage when it comes to the almighty barbecue. It's a meat-oriented thing, and there's no two ways about it. There are, however, a myriad of vegetables that taste great when barbecued - sometimes even more so when combined with your extra-special BBQ sauce (see above).
Along with the great selection of 'faux meats' available, you and your flesh-intolerant friends can still find something to stuff between some bread: veggie burgers and dogs. Along with vegetable kebabs, veggies and vegans are pretty well catered for. Forgive them, father, for they know not what they are missing out on.
Reason 5. Friends love a BBQ, come rain or shine
Putting aside the fact that barbecued food simply tastes that much better than anything else, a barbecue is not just about getting your chow on - it's also about getting together a bunch of people you like. Ask them to bring something along to put on the barbecue. Prepare the meat, sauces and salads together. Open a few beers or bottles of wine and whet your social appetite.
Hell, corporations should instate barbecues as team-building events. Improve your teamwork and get to know each other a little bit better, with the incredible motivation of all that delicious food at the end of it. If that isn't win-win, I don't know what is. I'm pitching this to my boss on Monday.
The home of The BarbeSkew - the World's first hands-free barbecue. Delicious and healthy barbequed BBQ food cooked properly every time. This leaves us with only one possible conclusion: barbecues are divine culinary machines.
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